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Thread Status: Active Total posts in this thread: 3 |
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Beverly
Advanced Member US Joined: Sep 23, 2013 Post Count: 723 Status: Offline |
Japanese guys aren’t going to express what they want or how they feel. That’s just how they grew up. Instead, they expect you to be finely tuned to understand what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling at any given moment. Sadly, since you didn't grow up in a society that requires you to be (nearly) psychic, you’re not going to pick up on these very subtle hints. Here are a few things said by Western women dating a Japanese man about their partner's lack of open communication style. “He seemed to expect me to understand him without telling me what the problem was.” -Emma “He is SO QUIET. Also, he never says what he is feeling or what he wants (except for ice cream/candy). It is hard to figure out what he really wants.” -Anna “The biggest surprise for me is the Japanese way of knowing without saying. He can read people and anticipate other people’s needs before they even know they need it. I feel bad because sometimes I feel that I can’t read him and is my nature to ask “what do you want, what do you need.” His shy nature will just say nothing and I end up feeling split. Like I know he’s wanting something but he says nothing, yet I should do something…” -Jaimi |
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karen.m.shelton.9
Advanced Member US Joined: May 2, 2014 Post Count: 120 Status: Offline |
Unfortunately Beverly I know several American men who are exactly the same way. Do you think it is in general a male/female issue or just worse in Japan? |
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Beverly
Advanced Member US Joined: Sep 23, 2013 Post Count: 723 Status: Offline |
Unfortunately Beverly I know several American men who are exactly the same way. Do you think it is in general a male/female issue or just worse in Japan? Possibly this could be a male/female universal issue that is the same in all countries around the world as many cultures discourage men from openly showing strong emotions even to a sweetheart. However, I've actually read how this is true in Japan between mothers and daughters, as one woman was saying she would not feel comfortable hugging her own mother for Mother's Day. Yet, she expressed very deep emotions in her heart for her mom. I know they have these deep emotions but possibly don't feel comfortable expressing the emotions. Guess I'm leaning in favor of this being a male thing. Maybe this is how most guys act in a relationship, uncomfortable with confiding emotions about what they want/need as there is a great risk of rejection when you open up your heart that much to trust another person. |
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